Read the Big Orange Box Below for Topic

Hooray! Another year of Park City's Sundance Film Festival came and went, and while Jake usually doesn't have a life for the ten days that the festival spans because he's too busy catering to everyone else's needs, I, on the other hand, get to enjoy all the perks that he wishes he had time for. This is Jake's sixth year working as a driver at Sundance, this year being his second driving for Stella Artois...no, that's not the name of some beautiful foreign actress, it's a celebrity beer! Yes, my angelic, squeaky-clean hubs gets to drive around executives of Anhueser Busch from party to party...and he loves it!...and they love him! Then again, I've never met anyone who isn't immediately impressed by Jake and wants him in their Top 10 friends list on Facebook. What a stud muffin.

Though my experience this year didn't quite top the year-before-last, it's still a blog-worthy story. My adventure begins with my friend Michelle and I driving up Provo Canyon on the worst weather day of the week, making a typical 45-minute drive to Park City, an hour and a half because one of the main roads was closed to be snow plowed, forcing us to go through the podunk town of Kamas...which did not have the luxury of snow plows. I think our top speed was 25 mph. After finally arriving to our destination in the wintery PC, Jake was able to be our taxi for the evening, picking us up from our parking lot and dropping us off on crazy-busy Main Street for our first event he arranged for us--Stella Artois' Happy Hour!

You can't help but feel a little bit of snobbery when you walk up to the door of an exclusive place to have someone ask if you're on "the list", because you know you actually get to say yes. Move aside, suckas! After a brief introduction to one of Jake's Stella bosses at the door (who he referred to as the Bruce Willis look-alike) and flashing some grins, Michelle and I ventured to a table for two, surrounded by a sworm of people we didn't recognize, each with a chalice full of Stella in their hand. To sum up our experience, "Happy Hour" to us Morm gals meant a nice place to order a free Coke and keep the beverage coaster as a souvenior. (Or in last year's case, take a picture with a guy you're convinced is Josh Hartnet.) After enjoying people-watching for a bit and meeting one of Mark Walhberg's friends (I love you Marky Mark!) who also went to Adam Sandler's Christmas party last year, it was time to head to our next event that Jake pulled some strings for--the Stella Artois Chalice Factory. 

This pic is HIDEOUS...and yes, Michelle is THAT tall

The name sounds cooler than it was...which was just another place to drink Stella to your heart's content, only this time added with the luxury of Belgium waffles to accompany your beverage...and chocolate and powdered sugar. The other perk from this place is that we'll end up with a Stella Artois chalice, customized with Sundance 2012 engraved on it and our initials. Looking forward to that arriving in the mail!

 

Next, it was time for dinner so we decided to meet up with Michelle's sister, Taylor, and her boyfriend for pizza at Davanza's the next street over. It's such a delicious, laid-back pizza place. It's more like a cozy pub with only about eight tables total and a bar, and the walls are lined with shelves of vintage beer and soda cans. Scrumptious dinner!
 

O....M....G

Soon we were off to walk up and down Main Street to see what came our way. At one point, we stopped into Mary Jane's (a fave chic store of mine to visit) and then did a bathroom stop in one of the hotels. While waiting in line in the restroom, there was a girl behind Michelle with dyed long blonde hair, a super deep fake tan, super skinny with HUGE boobs and huge lips. She was pure plastic and nasty looking, so it was funny that we both said, "Did you see that girl?!" when we left. (This will come into play later). Also along with that, it's always amusing to see girls in spiked high-heels and mini skirts at Sundance where it's like 20 degrees outside and a snow storm. I'm shocked I didn't see any flip-flops. 

Anyway, soon our efforts landed us in the Music Cafe, and the performer of the night? Ice-T! Yes, we saw the OG himself. He had a film up there this year that he was promoting, so they did a quick Q&A session before his performance alongside Chuck D and Grandmaster Caz. Did I have any idea who the other two guys were? Nada. But it was pretty cool hearing them all rap! Especially since Ice-T noted that he's 53 and the other two are also in their 50s. Pretty impressive. Hey dad!...oh, which Ice-T did have his 20-year-old son there...and his wife Coco....whoooooo was the nasty lady in the bathroom behind us!!! Hahaha. We died when he introduced her on stage.

After gettin' jiggy at our gangsta experience, it was off to our next and final stop, The Downstairs. Our lucky buns only got into the place because Michelle's super cute sister Taylor was standing next to someone during Ice T who said he'd get us in. Otherwise, NOT an easy club to get into. You definitely have to have connections to get in or else plan to wait outside in the freezing cold and then probably pay $100. Lucky us!

Once inside, we enjoyed the open bar (or at least Taylor did) and the loud dance music and dim lights. Taylor was a dancing machine! The again, I probably would be too if I had some drinks in me...unfortunately, my Red Bull was buzz free. Either way, it was a fun atmosphere and fun to be with Michelle and Taylor. We decided to call it quits around midnight since we had our long drive back to reality, so we called our hot taxi guy Jake to come save us. Aaaaand on our way out, I spotted David Moscow and Scott Wolfe. I had the pleasure of seeing Scott a previous year, and ladies and gentlemen, let me just tell you, he is just one beautiful man!...short, but so cute. I'm not kidding when I say I was a foot from him (being squished in a stairway together) and got to make eye contact. Haha.

Scott Wolf...dressed just like this in a poofy coat

David Moscow...you might know him from Newsies!!

And for my last story of our Sundance 2012 adventure...when Jake dropped off Michelle and I back at my car, the parking lot was empty except for my car and another and a buttload of snow...oh, and yellow crime scene tape surrounding them!!! There were several cop cars and the tape spanned a giant circle, locking my car in the scene. Sooo, naturally I'm worried something happened to my car, hence the police, but when we approached an officer asking what happened and if it was safe to get my car, he said not to worry and that the cars were just fine....yeah, there was only a STABBING there!!!! It had happened earlier at a little bistro on the corner of the shopping mall that we parked in. What the heck?! A stabbing?! Guess Sundance doesn't just bring out the drunks and hoes after all. I totally was looking for blood in the snow but didn't see any. Darn. We weren't fortunate enough to get any details of the stabbing and I didn't see anything on the news, but the good news was that I was able to get my car out (which the cops then immediately started surveying the stall I had just pulled out of) and Michelle and I headed home at the ripe hour of 1 am. 

THE END.

My celeb sightings from past years, even though Jake's list would by far surpass mine:  Josh Brolin (No Country for Old Men & Goonies!!!), David Wells (former pitcher for the NY Yankees), Terrance Howard (Crash), Colin Hanks (Orange County), Adrian Grenier (Entourage), Thomas Ian Nicholas (American Pie), Dax Shepard (Parenthood), Danny Masterson (That '70s Show), Slash (Guns N Roses), Adrian Brody (The Pianist...and so cute in real life!), Joan Rivers (got to watch her movie), Philip Seymour Hoffman (got to watch his movie too), Amy Ryan (The Office), Ian Ziering (90210).