 |
| Jenny and the Jett |
10. Not all babies are created equal. Before I became a mom, all babies smelled the same (read that as "all babies stink"--not baby powder bliss) and cried the same and therefore must all be the same besides maybe having different levels of crankiness. Oh, so naive! I have now discovered that Jett has his own unique sound, and when I now hear other babies cry in restaurants or other places I think, "Well, that's a different cry (or ugly)...Jett doesn't sound like that. His is cuter." Haha. He also smells pretty darn good, which most of the time consists of his Johnson & Johnson lotion mixed with the lingering scent of baby formula. I don't care, it's scrumptious. I have even been known to sniff his burp rags that occasionally get left in my car. Yup. But let it be known that after bath time is most delicious! Apparently, being drawn to the scent of your child is a natural phenomenon and connects baby to mom and vice versa. It is even said that in a blindfolded test, a mom can pick out the scent of her newborn when compared to other newborns. I regret to inform you, I have not sniffed other babies to test this out...I'll stick to Jett's burp rags.
9. I don't feel like my life is just "mom" now--I'm still me. I'm not sure what big change I expected to feel about myself once being initiated into the officially mommy club, but whatever it was, it didn't happen. I typically end up viewing my friends differently who have had kids because somehow they change and suddenly get this feel about them of being a more mature, responsible adult...I mean, they became a parent! All of those memories I have with my friends of sharing an apartment together, having adventures and staying up late talking about boys, having dress up parties, being goofy and having so few cares in the world...that all got moved aside for grown up stuff and the next big chapter in life. Naturally, I thought I'd end up in this mature, responsible alter universe journeying along with my trusty diaper bag and stroller but instead, I've been surprised to feel the same immature, youthful self I am who still loves macaroni and cheese, eats cookies before dinner, and will resort to doing potty dances while watching TV because I don't want to miss the good part. Maybe all moms feel this way? Sure I have a kid now and I'm on my way to that ancient 30-year-old mark, but I still feel as if I'm 21 (ok, 23...we'll skip past some of those years) and think, "I hope people don't think I'm just a mom. I'm still me, too."
8. I've realized I'm still not a morning person. This obviously fits into the "I'm still me" category. Sure I made it through the endless weeks of pregnancy of waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom only to transition into waking up more countless times in the middle of the night to feed babykins. You'd think over the course of this past year I'd be used to the limited-sleep thing by now, right? Wrong! I still dread EVERY morning and especially miss my Saturday mornings. I know my bed misses me, too. I've come to the conclusion that teenagers come with one good benefit--they will sleep in! So I just have to wait 13 more years for Jett to figure out that waking up at 6 or 7 am to start the day is really not ideal.
7. Babies don't need half the stuff people tell you. For not having a clue of how to prepare for a new baby or what essentials really can be considered essential, I think I did a pretty darn good job of not ending up with much more than we needed. That gliding armchair I wanted but never got? Meh, $300 saved! Those expensive video monitors people swear by? Meh, our wimpy, free, audio-only one seemed to work fine for the brief few months I actually needed it. The big, bulky play centers that seem like a day at Lagoon for baby? Meh, our doorway bouncer and floor lounger works fine. That sense of guilt of not buying more baby toys or clothes or whatever? Meh, limited use on everything anyway. Other items I wanted but never purchased and now look back and think "Whew! What a waste that would've been!" are: baby bath tub, wipes warmer, sleep sacks, standing high-chair, special laundry detergent and dish soap, many pairs of baby shoes, bottle sterilizer, Bumbo tray, Pee Pee Teepees, expensive bedding...to name a few. Luckily Jake talked me out of several items, but let it be known he did not win the Diaper Genie argument (aka the "Shit Wizard"). It is magical! And who knew that for baby toys you really could just get away with plastic soda bottles, spatulas, measuring spoons, and the DVD remote control to entertain baby...but those don't make very acceptable baby shower gifts.
6. Babies own you, not the other way around. I had pictured a baby somewhat like a pet, if you will, and at times, this does seem true...like when we over-excitedly tell Jett to "Go get it!" while pointing to his toys so I can show off his crawling and then squeal with delight. We'll even throw in the occasional "Good boy" afterwards. I'm sure I'm not the only parent who plays fetch with their child. Anyway, I thought having a baby around meant I still somewhat go about my routine and baby just accompanies me, obviously feeding or changing him in between when he needs it. If I need to do a store run, he goes when I go. If I need to do laundry, he can sit and play when I want him to. If I want to cuddle, he'll cuddle with me. This has turned out to be much different. For the most part Jett is very adaptable to our schedule and is good about being loaded up into his car seat when we run errands or eat out. However, there is so much more preparation when leaving the house and we have to consider Jett's needs above ours. We have to plan in advance when he will be hungry, if he's had a nap that day and when and for how long, has he pooped yet, will the weather change at any time so he might need a blanket, will he need extra burp rags in case he throws up on one. I've come to realize his schedule trumps ours and we can't just be out all day going from store to store toting him along expecting him to wait another half an hour to eat because we're stuck in the check out line at Smith's. It's not fair to him. The same goes with sleeping. I have found it incorrect to "tell" Jett when to nap or sleep so he learns a routine, as I've seen many parenting help sites suggest. He naturally has his own schedule, and will tell us when he's tired, even if that means staying up with mom and dad until 9:30 p.m. instead of 7:45 p.m. when we'd like. And if he doesn't want to be smothered during his nap time, then fine! Mom will just go pout and attempt to smother Jake only to get rejected for a second time.
5. Poop, pee, and throw up aren't so bad. Yup, I said it...Mrs. Germaphobe herself. I have had all the above on me and have successfully managed to not toss Jett across the room from a natural reflex. In fact, usually when it comes to a throw up moment, I actually am sad for the lil' gipper and worry his tummy is upset and tell him how it's ok he ralphed all over mom...or his blanket...or the floor...or his bed...or his car seat. Poor thing! Poop and pee don't get such an easy pass but compared to the horrors I pictured involving these bodily functions, Jett's been fairly easy breezy. Don't get me wrong though, gagging moments still happen and I do use hand sanitizer religiously. I will also still empty the bathtub and refill it if Jett decides to let Old Faithful off during his bath.
4. Baby myths are rampant and to be ignored. For the record (and in my own opinion), here are a few myths I feel were over-the-top, overly paranoid, or just downright ridiculous. I'd like to put the kibosh on them due to my own experience...even if my experience has only been 8 months' worth so far: Formula-fed babies sleep longer because their tummies are more full. Babies should never sleep on their stomach. Don't use blankets of any kind for your baby when they sleep because they will suffocate. Formula-fed babies get sick more often than breastfed babies. If you don't use special allergy-free laundry detergent your baby will break out into hives. Breastfed babies have a closer bond to their mothers. You need to set strict feeding and napping schedules for your baby to adapt to. Sending your child to daycare while you are a working mom means you don't love your baby as much. Baby clothes sizes are accurate for how many months old your baby is. Don't introduce TV to your child until they are 2 years old. Don't let your baby fall asleep with a binky or they will suffocate. If your baby uses the kind of binky with a hole in the back, their finger will get stuck in it and cut off circulation. If your baby was large at birth, he will always measure larger month to month. And lastly, sleep when your baby sleeps. To these I say, what a load of crock!
3. All the single ladies (ok, dads too), I applaud you. Before I go into praises, let me first be a little beasty and clarify that I mean single parents not by choice--getting knocked up because you were a skanky butt, or choosing to leave your marriage because you ran off and cheated on your husband doesn't make me feel sorry that you're in such circumstances raising a kid on your own. I do, however, have so much more respect now for someone whose spouse died, their spouse left them, or even if their spouse is deployed, etc. I can't even imagine not having a partner by my side to help me out with Jett. The thought of being on my own all day every day with a baby is exhausting and stressful! And how lonely. I don't know how some people make it. On some nights when Jake works, it is a juggling effort to care for Jett (monitor him, feed him when it's time, play and interact with him, get him ready for bed) while trying to do my own things such as getting my own dinner ready and cleaning up after myself. It's a bigger task than one might think.
2. Jake is a hot dad. I already knew Jake was a stud muffin (duh, I married him) but seeing him with Jetty Jettson is just the greatest thing ever. Sometimes he says some of the funniest lines to Jett such as "Is it just so tremendous?" during feedings or baths, and is guilty of coming up with awesome baby nicknames to add to my list. Equally as special is seeing Jett's little face light up when he sees dad. I'm pretty sure they're best buddies, even though I try convincing everyone that Jett likes me most...then I convince them that it's not fair to judge who he likes better because Jake gets more time with him so Jett's being unfairly influenced. They have fun wrestling and tickling and Jett loves that dad lets him grab his face and hair and climb all over him without dad complaining like mom does when her face gets pinched or hair pulled. Jake is also the designated baby rocker before bed time and most often the bath time scrubber. It's been so fun watching him interact with Jett and so special to see those tender moments of a baby curled over his shoulder. The mix of masculinity and the softness of a baby is just priceless...not the kind though where I want Jake to do shirtless black and white pics holding Jett on his forearm while flexing his muscles. Who does that?! Or more accurately, who thinks that's attractive?! Anyway, seeing the two of them together everyday reinforces that I picked a good apple to raise my children.
1. Not all moms are created equal. (Big 3-paragraph category.) Almost everyone that knows me, knows this about me: I was the most unfamiliar person with babies and all things children. My famous baby story that paints this picture well is the time my college dance coach asked me during our team meeting to go get her baby out of the car seat sitting on the floor near our huddle and bring the baby over to join us. I went over and crouched down in front of the car seat and assessed the task at hand wondering what the heck I was supposed to do with all the strappy things and buckles and then more importantly, how to actually take the fragile baby out with out upsetting it. Yank on the arms to pull it out? Reach under the armpits and lift up? Tilt the car seat forward to spill the baby out and catch it? Well, a long enough amount of time must have passed before our coach noticed I hadn't returned yet and ultimately sent another teammate over to help me. Great, I had failed as a female! But relieved for help.
Because of this inexperience, I was so worried I wouldn't be like everyone else whose had children. I had already viewed my whole pregnancy differently than most and did not feel like I was "glowing" for 9 months (unless my greasy hair counted) and didn't feel spiritually in-touch or psychically connected with my child...I was just pregnant. Fat and pregnant and reaching the lowest point of attractiveness in my life. Sticking with honesty here, I was also worried about having a boy (what did I know about bugs and dinosaurs? I knew ballet and dolls). I worried about having to change boy diapers and having to cleaning "it." True story. Because of my resentment, I was sincerely concerned that when he was born I wouldn't love him as much. I was worried that not enjoying these things about my pregnancy experience meant I wouldn't enjoy motherhood, and because of that I felt like a horrible mother already and I hadn't even had my baby! I would frequently get the pep talk from everyone telling me that, "As soon as you see that little baby of yours, you will just fall in love!" Well, I'm here to confess that just as I viewed pregnancy differently, so it was with birth...and that's completely OK! For me personally, I was meeting a little stranger for the first time when he was handed to me. I was seeing a face I had never seen before that I had created, and he was a piece of me. It was intimidating. It was unknown territory. It was exciting!! And I was on a lot of groggy drugs that added to my mental displacement. Over the next few hours, days, weeks, I was creating and building a bond and didn't have one just appear out of nowhere like most people implied. I would just stare at Jett's little face and take everything in...his little squeaks and noises, his eyes looking back at me and looking at the world around him, his adorable yawns, his stretches and arched back, his little fingers curling around my finger, his sleepy snores. We were both getting to know eachother...oh, and him being a boy ended up not even being a single care in my mind. He was perfect.
So through all of this, I've learned that I'm not like all other moms. We don't all view our experiences the same and probably never will...except maybe sending our baby to the first day of Kindergarten because that will be precious, and I will probably get emotional. I may not have a plethora of natural mother instincts compared to most females but I'm still a mom, and I'd like to think a pretty cool one. I'm lucky. And I think Jett's lucky, even if I'm imperfect. I'm so excited to share my thoughts and feelings of the world with him and give him a unique growing and learning experience that he'd only get from me. And yes, probably a future 311 fan in the making.
