Confession

(Let's go for two posts in one day!)
Jake bought me a pair of black glittery TOMS. Before becoming a Toms owner, I thought they were one of the most hideous fashion trends and would refer to them as orphan shoes...actually, I still do. They straight up look up like something for a poverty-stricken Asian child or a polygamist. Granola! Even when Jake gave them to me he could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't leaping for joy. But, they were comfy and I didn't want to hurt Jake's feeling after he had been so thoughtful, and they are "trendy," so my feet and I made the decision to keep my orphan shoes knowing I'd risk looking homeless when I wore them. My only comfort was knowing they wouldn't look as horrible as Crocs. Gag! But now after wearing my Toms a few times? I LOVE THEM!! I proudly announce I have changed my ways and will now accept Toms as superior shoes...or at least only my black glitter ones. It's like wearing slippers all day. They are so darn comfy! And the best part is they don't even even become a sweaty shoe during the day like most slip-on shoes can be. I don't know how they do it...it's a mystery. I refuse to think I look granola in these babies. They are snazzy! Blingin' orphan here...now I just need one of those pointy rice paddy hats.

Groovin'

Ah, music. Oh, how I adore you! Pandora...you are my favorite. No, seriously. You are wondrous and my first born child may have to be named after you as a tribute to your greatness. You know my likes and we rarely quarrel, but when we do have a disagreement because you play a song by Beyonce or Adele because you're retarded and thought it should be thumbs up, I correct your wrongs and you instantly show kindness by replacing it with Florence or Imogen Heap to brighten my day. You don't even put up a fight. It's like you know me. We are so BFF's for life...at least as long as you're free. During my recent music journeys over the past few months, I've come across these little tunes of yumminess that I now want to share:

"My Body" - Young the Giant
This one is so flippin' catchy! When the chorus kicks in, I instantly have the urge to start bouncing around with my arms up in the air doing the Numa Numa dance...and that may or may not have been done already in my kitchen one evening while Jake just starred at me. (He loves those moments.) But my body didn't quit...I want more!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQYpF2pCkLI&ob=av2e

"Gold on the Ceiling" - The Black Keys
This is a recent find, and what an "ahhhhhh!" status it is! It's sassy, bluesy, rocky, and actually goes great to the Boot Scootin Boogy dance moves when I picture it in my mind. Saddle up partner! I think The Black Keys may be a new band I'll have to start paying attention to...which I admit I've only discovered them because of my Twilight Soundtracks. See what good things come from Twilight! They just need to feature Taylor Lautner in their videos...all of them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yCIDkFI7ew

"Somebody That I Used to Know" - Gotye
Most random hippie song! What the fuss...the little xylophone thingy?! Ooh my heavens, it's so strange that I'm in love with it. Chinese sound? Cowboy sound? How about both. I confident I've added to at least 1 million views out of the "mind-bottling" 242 million. How can Cheyenne say this was one of her top 3 worst songs ever?! 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY

"Dance Yrself Clean" - LCD Soundsystem
First off, this song is 9 minutes long. YES!!! Just know as soon as it starts you will most likely think WTF, but I promise if you can get through the first 3 minutes of the song, the rest is "golden" (a new word I've been introduced to), or as a fellow YouTuber phrased it best on his comment, "you will lose your shit." It goes from granola to hot babe in Nike high tops and you won't even see it coming!...unless you watch it fifty times like I have. Robots? David Bowie? I don't know but it's just awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoA0cTC228M

"Son's Gonna Rise" - Citizen Cope
Now that's what I'm talking about! This is one that I would be be loudly woo-whooing to if I got to see this performed live. House of Blues with this song? Gahhh! Loves the minor blues tune and the Santana-like guitar that kicks in. Best line in the song, "Got this woman in the backseat, she my wifey"...at least that's what it sounds like and therefore my favey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUfh5mbjjrw

Flash Forward (not the TV show)

Hello again blog world! I realize I have been away far too long and decided to do a quick post on what's been going on in the Jones household...well, at least some of things that have been going on...nevermind that giant cluster cuss of a mountain we've seemed to have stumbled upon that insists on sticking around for months to come and also insists on eating up all the money in our wallets. It's like an irritating, annoying house guest who has clearly overstayed their welcome and isn't getting the hint that they're seriously the worst person to ever touch foot on God's green earth, which is my reason for not wanting to spread posts of joy on here when there. is. no. joy...ok, breeeeath! On the positive, non-suicidal side of my current schizo split personality, here is some joy to spread! (I picture myself in a Tinkerbell tutu frolicking in a flowered meadow gleefully tossing handfuls of sparkles and rainbows for no other reason than just being damn happy and I look awesome...let me frolic!)

- Jake officially completed his first year of nursing school and finished off with an impressive 3.6 GPA! I say "impressive" considering one of his achievements from the year included being the official butt-cheek-spreader-holder-person for a whopping 15+ minutes on some old person while the ole' chap had some work done down under...and I don't mean in Australia. That alone deserves passing grades! Bless his little heart...and bless that old person's bum.

- Gage is finishing up his second grade year this week and had a dance festival today where his grade level performed to "Eye of the Tiger." Nothing makes a parent beam with more pride than seeing their wee youngling practice punching and kickboxing moves to "Dun! Dun-dun-dun! Dun-dun-dun! Dun-dun-duuuuun." What a thrill of the fight...his air jump rope is spot on.

- Father Lieber celebrated his big 60th birthday this year at the beginning of the month. As much as we would've loved to plan a Roast for him like they do on Comedy Central to celebrate his momentous occasion (which is really code for "a justified occasion to make fun of said person and reveal their most embarrassing moments"), it just didn't happen and instead resorted to buying him a giant foil balloon that said "Oh no! The big 6-0!" Those clever balloon phrase people. Happy Birthday dad!

- Jake, Gage and I spent Easter weekend in "exotic" Carson City, Nevada to visit Jake's parents and grandparents, the later whom I've never met. Our time was spent time adapting to the local culture by practicing BB gun shooting in the backyard, visiting an old mining town where some of the people didn't realize Halloween already passed so the saloon girl and Wyatt Earp costumes were sooo yesterday, Grandma Jones purchasing a coon skin hat for Gage so he can look like a bona fide nomad who now needs a slingshot in hand and a couple teeth blacked out, and listening to Jake's grandpa talk about his heroic WWII days and "those damn Germans"...and then hear the stories again because of his early onset of Alzheimer's. Good thing it wasn't disclosed I am one of those damn Germans. Poor grand pappy may have suffered a heart attack.

- Jake and I celebrated our first anniversary on May 20th!!! We spent a night up in our beloved Park City and enjoyed a most anticipated delicious steak dinner date at Prime Steak House. I knew it 'twas fate that we were to dine there the moment I stepped out on to Main Street and 311 was playing in the air. Bliss. Besides dinner, other Park City events included some shopping at the outlets and the World Market (which I was uber impressed with!), a dozen red roses waiting for me in our hotel room along with a gift and bottle of bubbley chilled in the fridge, a delicious pizza lunch date the next day, and some other events typical of an anniversary that I'm not allowed to disclothes...I mean disclose. Hooray for year one!

- Jake and I purchased a grill for our anniversary (thanks to the $ generosity of my parentals) and put it to good use instantly. I think Jake feels more complete as a man now having a grill around...he's been deprived ever since we moved into our home in October. Now that he has his other half (no, not me...I said grill, not girl), he's fixing to invite the whole neighborhood over for grilled feasts. If you'd like an invite, please put your name on the waiting list and you will be contacted at a later date. In the meantime, we just need to get Jake a more manly grilling apron since he's currently been using my 1950s style black and white polka dot Susie Homemaker dress apron. I hope that accurately depicted the image. He is precious in it.

- In my excitement for warm weather a few weeks back, I purchased bundles of colorful flowers to plant in a planter box I had Jake custom made for our front porch. I am quite fond of my botanic masterpiece that I so skillfully planned and secretly think that our neighbor who "just happened" to purchase a potted flower assortment shortly after only did so because she saw my wonderous floral gem. Well, hers wasn't custom made...so there! Oh, and our front dirt-patch area now has bushes. Uhh-dorable. Grow little planties, grow!

 And this concludes my updates. End Tinkerbell frolicking sequence.

Excitable One!

Next Saturday, Jake and I will be excitedly making our way to one of my favorite getaway spots...LAS VEGAS!! I have been waiting for this adventure for quite some time (2 years, to be exact), and now that March has finally arrived, I'm extremely anxious and excited...so excited that I obviously feel the need to brag blog about it.

As most of you know (or should know), I've been a long-time fan of the greatest band ever, 311!!! Every other year on March 11, they hold a huge concert that dedicated fans from all over the country (and even the world!) flock to--this day is officially known as 311 Day. What's unique about 311 Day is that it's not an ordinary concert where typically the headlining band only plays an hour and half, if you're lucky. No, no...my beloved 311 plays record-long setlists, which in recent years spanned 5 hours and has now evolved into a 2-day event for 2012!!! Cover songs and rarities can also be expected, which make the crowd go wild. Typically the concert has been held in New Orleans but for 2010 and 2012 it's been held in Vegas, this year being at MGM which seats 16,800 people! WOW. The last 311 Day concert at Mandalay Bay was mine and Jake's first (only because I drag him to all my concerts...what a good, willing hubby!), and to say the energy was over-the-top and the fans were roaring so loud that you could barely hear yourself sing is an understatement. The entire arena was jam-packed and the sight was absolutely incredible to see. Here are some pics from 2010 to show off the awesomeness of it all...

Inside Mandalay Bay Events Center

I feel bad that Chad, the drummer, got left out of this shot

Great pic of Tim Mahoney on guitar...we walked past him in the casino. What?!

My amazing Nick Hexum!

Photo found online from different angle.

Another one online....SA * Chad * Tim * Nick * P-Nut

I can't wait to see my band next weekend!!!

Not Me Mondays

A few months back, I came across a blog that had me rolling on the floor with laughter and tears streaming down my face. The blogger had a weekly post every Monday entitled "Not Me Mondays" in which her failings as a mother and wife throughout her week were publicly confessed. I didn't have a clue if this was a well-known thing in the blogging world, but as I read through multiple posts of hers, I fell instantly in love with her uncensored humor and brutal honesty. Who wouldn't laugh at a young mother referring to her breasts as baby feeding mountains and also decides to tell her two young girls that the odd body part on their new naked baby brother is his "knobber hangy thing" made of extra elbow skin. HIL-ARI-OUS!!! I became a fan and decided I want to test out my own version of Not Me Mondays. So, here's my first whack at it regarding recent occurrences...

I did not complain when Jake talked me into buying a whole package of E.L. Fudge cookies, even though I said no because I didn't want to get stuck eating the whole package...then I really did not complain when I came home one day to find the last row of cookies eaten and angrily announce that those were mine! Nope, I'm always honest when I say I don't want treats all to myself...I know the importance of sharing.

I did not laugh when I asked one of the 4-year-old boys in our primary class to ask the girl sitting next to him for her name but he instead steals the drawing paper out of her hand and hands it to me with an accomplished look on his face...which results in the girl instantly starting a cry fest...which then results in another primary teacher coming over to console her because I was giggling and not attending to her needs. Nope, I'm a great care-taker of children and know how to react properly when a child's feelings are hurt.

I did not banish Gage from the couch during Air Bud after discovering that the stinky feet smell that had occasionally but brutally pierced my nose during the course of an hour was coming from his little poop-stink feet and not from my old, sweaty slippers. Not me. I love everything about my stepchild including his smelly paws, and after all...if they had been my smelly feet, I would have also excused myself politely from the couch to sit on the floor. I'm always thinking of others.

I do not get angry with Jake every time he lets one off by me, contaminating my clean airspace and forcing me to say things like, "Are you kidding me?!" or "Put a freakin' cork in it, farty pants!" I always treat my husband and his flatulence with respect, knowing that it's a common bodily function we all have...except myself. Never.

I did not scarf down two homemade buttermilk waffles that Jake made me and then also stuff my face with spoonfuls of mac n' cheese that he had made for Gage because I knew that fresh is the best and didn't want to miss out. Not me...I know when to stop eating when Ive already had a meal and am especially conscious about what foods don't mix.

I also do not buy "special" boxes of macaroni and cheese like the shells or Phineas & Ferbs characters for myself and then make Gage eat the regular boxes and not "mom's kind"...and then assure him that they all taste the same and that it doesn't matter.

I do not get mad at Gage when he talks in baby talk, even though on an almost daily basis I excitedly wave to the "deersies" or "moo-cows" every time I see them out in the meadow on my way home from work. Nope, double-standards are certainly frowned upon in my book.

I did not enjoy challenging Jake and Gage to a round of Mario Kart, knowing that I'm the superior gamer, and then get flustered when Gage had beaten me on several rounds that I legitimately had to compete for. Not me. I praise my kid's achievements and acknowledge how awesome it is when an 8-year-old beats tough mom.

I did not allow Gage to watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights only to discover that he laughed hysterically when boobs were mentioned...and then days later happily recapped the funny scene to a fellow friend from his primary class that was invited to play at our house for the first time. Nope, good mothers understand that PG-13 movies are strictly for mature, older children so you don't have to explain that those are naughty words which don't need to be repeated to other innocent church-going children who probably just dubbed you as the dirt-ball kid that moved in.

I did not pretend to ignore Gage when he asked me what a "breast plate" was while hearing it on How To Train Your Dragon...and then when he repeated himself after making sure he had my attention, I did not act out my best confused face and say, "Hmm...I don't know." Because, you know, it may be ok that my child knows what boobies are but to have him learn what breasts are as well is definitely crossing the line.

I definitely did not consider buying a boys size XL Tony Hawk shirt for myself while clothes shopping for Gage because I liked the teal and gray stripes on it so much and decided that no one would know if I were to wear a shirt made for boys 8+. After all, it worked when I did that years ago at Gap Kids with a hoodie...and at Disneyland for a Mickey Mouse shirt...and at the U of U bookstore for a student T-shirt. Nope, I know to only buy adult clothing that is sold in the female section.

I did not make Jake roll his eyes and make a face that says "Wow, what did I get myself into?!" when I made him come sit by me on the couch during the love songs in Lion King and Aladdin on TV so I could sit in his lap and sing mushily to him. No way...I do not get googly-eyed during Disney movies and then feel the need to take out my lovey-ness on my husband. That's just weird.

Mustache Mania

Valentine's Day has been flagged on my awesome Looney Tunes desk pad calendar for weeks now, and not just because the printing company put it on there automatically or that I'm excited to see what mushy stuff Jake gets me, but my excitement was because I'd plotted taking over Gage's Valentines for his second grade class this year!...which I did. Yes, apparently I'm that kind of mother. No more wimpy paper Valentines with Sponge Bob or Madagascar characters on them saying things like, "I'm wild about you Valentine!" Let's face it, no kid is really that excited giving a public statement of love to the smelly kid in class you can't stand who you know picks his nose. How embarrassing it would be if Picking Peter actually thought you had a crush on him afterwards! Or was that just me who feared that every year?

Anyway, on my beloved Pinterest weeks ago, I came across a terrific idea...a print out of a child's face with big chocolate candy lips wrapped in red foil stuck on their mouth making them look like they had a big kissy face. It made me chuckle and made me think how awesome it would be to do that for Gage's Valentines...only, kissy lips might be too girly and not his style, so why not a chocolate mustache instead?! Brilliant! I was on the hunt to make my project happen, and after not having any luck finding candy mustaches sold nearby, I decided to order the candy molds online and whip some up myself. And...they...turned...out...perfect! Here is the final product, planned to be given out tomorrow to 28 children who are sure to deem me as the coolest treat-maker-mom!...nevermind the fact that technically home-made treats aren't allowed. Shh. 

 

Oh, and in case you're wondering if I let Gage do any of it...yes, he did. He got to personalize each Valentine on the back of each card in his best chicken-scratch handwriting and also decided to add heart foil stickers on the front of each. He loves them and can't wait to take them to class to make the kids giggle! Meanwhile, I'll be waiting for a Certificate of Admiration from the teacher...maybe the school...and perhaps should make plans to set up my own chocolate mustache shop now. Take that Tootsie Pops!

Turning a New Page...Literally

The unthinkable has happened. During my hour-long lunch breaks, I find myself wanting to grab a quick bite of whatever food craving I have that day, and then rush back to the office so I can munch away while I...(gasp) read a good book. What's that you say? That Jenny Jones girl don't read?! Weeeeell, that's true...I've never been a reader since middle school and can probably count the "grown-up" books I've successfully read on one hand, even though as a kid, I loved to read! I couldn't get enough of the Goosebumps books, and my favorite book had to be James and the Giant Peach.

Now let's flash forward to twenty-twelve (skipping past the Twilight series I read a few years ago that were ravenously eaten up in about a week....there's 4 books down!), why my sudden change of heart for literature? Well, my bestie could partially be to blame ever since she left me lunch-dateless everyday because of her diet she's doing (what motivation I lack to follow!)...and it could also be because I haven't found anything on the Internet worth keeping my interest for my lunch hour once I've already hit up Twitter and Pinterest in 5 seconds...or it could also be that I think our bookshelf at home is barren and needs some spiffing up with some snazzy books so that when people come over they will think we're well-educated and literate. (Jake begs to differ that proudly displaying the Twilight for all to see reflects either of those.)

Anywhoo, my recent book adventures began with giving the Harry Potter series a whirl ever since watching the last movie in theaters because I loved that it tied all the previous movies together. Way to wrap it up, J.K. Rowling! I borrowed the books from said skinny bestie and made it through book two. Then, instead of moving on to book three last month, I decided to jump ships for a bit so I could read Imperfect Justice: Prosecuting Casey Anthony, which I bought myself for Christmas. Ooh, my dear friends, I could do such a lengthy blog post venting about that whole flop-of-court-case, and this book (which I probably read in 4 sittings...well, more like stomach-lyings) was just another slice of Casey-hater pie that feeds my obsession, and I loved choking it down...and want to choke her!

But, moving along...during the time I was reading that book, Jake and I went and saw The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo in theaters with some friends, and to sum it up...it was just badass! (Go figure since it was the same director who did Panic Room, Fight Club, and Se7en...all dark thrillers I enjoyed.)  After the movie, our friend mentioned he had enjoyed it because he'd read the book, so my thought was instantly, "Oh, so it's a book, eh?!"  My interest was sparked, and I dashed over to Barnes & Noble the following Monday, but alas, no hardcover copies in stock. I needed a book fix, and I needed it now! My backup choice was The Hunger Games, which I've only had a interest in because of the public hype and the upcoming movie, but I'll be honest...the plot sounds retarded. Eh. It's no Gladiator with Russell Crowe. I decided to order both The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and The Hunger Games anyway, and when my books arrived last Friday, I was beaming with joy! 

So, to wrap up my ranting here, my plan for 2012 is to read more books. I'm currently reading The Hunger Games and even though I'm only around page 80 (because it has not drawn me in to that can't-put-it-down mode yet), I am hopeful that it will be a good book, despite that I find the author's writing style somewhat irritating and an adjustment to read. At least the book will be a nice addition to my bookcase!